Financial Woes

I cannot win people.. seriously I think we are in some never ending cycle of bills and crisis. As we all know we are still paying off Julius' medical bills from last summer, which is really taking it's toll on the amount of spending money we have for other things. Then we went on vacation, I don't know how much we spent, but I know since we've been back we have overdrawn our bank account three times (at the tune of $29 each), and one of the medical billing places is sending those awful notes with 'collections' writing in the first sentence.

I guess it's just one of those times when you feel that you cannot run fast enough to keep up with the needs of everyone. I even checked out some stress/time management books from the library. The funny thing is, the books all say to include more time for the things you love... How does that help? I just don't see how that gets anything done. But here I am, "loving" my blogtime. Venting, and wishing I could type ever faster, take a shower, and go to the post office all at the same time. Which leaves me to the reason for the 'collection' letters.. apparently while we were on vacation the postage went up 2-cents, so our bills were returned to us, having never been received by the companies.. Is that my fault? I am not so sure, I could definitely defend it.

So it's a crack down on our finances, which I have been saying for atleast 2 years. We aren't buying anything that we can live without, (however that trip to Carl's Jr. last night that cost $27, well.. we can't live without food... right?) It's just the bare bones of it all. Which I hate. I have never lived a life where I had to think about money. I grew up just putting whatever I wanted into the cart, and never looked at the price tag. Yea, we shopped garage sales, second hand stores, and day old bread.. but still price never occured to me.

So to switch to a price checking, frugal person is so hard. It's one thing to go to the mall and buy only clearance items, but it's another to put a spending limit on the sale amounts.. So yes, I buy items that are marked down, and I buy clearance clothes that will fit the next year, but I've never thought about the TOTAL that I am spending.. In fact I usually just swipe my little plastic card and I have no Clue how much I've actually spent. For example, I went to the gas station the other day, got a full tank of gas, paid the 45-cent pump fee, got my recipt and went on my way.. I don't know how much the gas was, I vaguley remember the price per-gallon was about $2.50-ish.. but I needed gas so it really doesn't matter what the price, I had to have it in order to function.

I'm starting to think that this isn't the way to spend. I just don't know any other ways, so probably 3 hours from know, when this whole 're-awakening' wears off and I see something I need, I'll be flashing my little plastic card and hoping it doesn't say "declined". I just don't know how to re-adjust my thinking. I assume this is similar to dieting, you know it lasts for a few hours and suddenly you find yourself popping something in your mouth that you weren't supposed to have, but it's already in your mouth so you eat it anyway...

I guess I'm just not dealing well with things right now, my phone is out of batteries, I have dishes in the sink, laundry half done, bookkeeping to do, school business, dr's appts, a dining room table that looks like something -or someone- blew up on it, my living room still have 'unpacking' residue, the kids' summer clothes are spiling around their room, their winter clothes in a bin that I can't find the lid to, and my bed is never made... I'm not organized, I spend without thinking about it, and need a vacation from my problems!

Okay, I feel better now, perhaps I should take more time to blog. I'm off to run on the hampster tredmill and hopefully cross more off my 'to-do' list then I add to it.. I'm still working on the same one from before we left.... I hate Mondays.